Overcome Evil with Good
by Floss Craig
Something that continues to amaze me in mediation is when one party knows what the law would require of him, and then moves past that “fair” line of compromise and willingly gives more. I’ve seen disputing parties come in adamant and unyielding, but after they have had their side heard, and listened respectfully to the other party’s feelings and needs, a transformation often happens. It can be seen in the softening of their faces and a more relaxed posture. When the words, “I can do better than that…” are uttered, my pulse quickens as I hang on to hear the rest of their statement and see God at work.
It may take several sessions to get to that point, but many people desire more than anything to be taken seriously as they give voice to their felt needs. So often when people engage in arguments, their emotions cause their hearing to shut down to what the other is trying to say. The volume goes up a notch as each tries to out-talk the other. Another ineffective way people deal with disagreements is to avoid discussing the issue by leaving the room or refusing to talk it out because they assume (sometimes rightfully) that they will not be heard anyway.
Whether the issue is siblings arguing over the care of aging parents, neighbors whose children cut corners over another's well-manicured lawn, or church members disputing over control issues (or any number of situations), as a mediator I can provide a framework in which constructive conversation can occur and disputants can gain clarity about choices and options.
If you or someone you know is involved in conflict where the presence of an unbiased third party may assist in providing a safe environment for discussion, I would be glad to speak with you to explore this option.